These days the Mother of the Bride often gets invited to the Hen’s Night. One thing to remember is ‘what happens on the Hen’s Night stays, on the Hen’s Night’. Do not blurt anything out about that evening that the bride, bridesmaids or guests may not wish to be publicly known. It’s also probably good not to put yourself in a position where you can be embarrassed by anything that you did on that night either!
Be there when needed for the bride, whilst also remembering it's not your wedding and butting out when necessary too. We don't want a clash between Bridezilla and Mumzilla do we?
Beware of potential surprises. The Mother of the Bride and Mother of the Groom should inform themselves of any ethnic traditions that either side may wish to bring into the celebration, and be there to listen to any issues the bride or groom may have with each other’s ethnic or family traditions. I once attended a Latvian wedding in which the old Latvian tradition of the friends of the groom kidnapping the bride after the ceremony was enacted. Fortunately both the bride and groom were from Latvian backgrounds, so their families knew what was expected, but it did come as a bit of a shock to the guests.
If you want to try anything new with hair make up or shoes try it out weeks before the wedding. A friend once worked as a waitress at a wedding venue and saw a bride who had her eyelashes tinted for the first time the day before the wedding and was very allergic, so her eyes were red and streaming.
It may come as a revelation to you as Mother of the Bride or Mother of the Groom that your offspring wants to get married on a beach overseas, very, very informally. Maybe you can get together to check out the local customs and taboos to make sure this ends happily.
It is possible that the friends of the groom may try to play practical jokes on him that will reveal themselves during the ceremony. The Mother of the Groom should take it on herself to make sure the friends of the groom don't ruin the ceremony by playing tricks on the groom. A friend of mine knelt down at the altar with her new husband and the whole congregation burst out laughing as the groom had “HELP” written on the bottom of his shoes in red nail varnish.
The speech of the best man may reveal things that you didn’t know about your daughter or son, and you may wish that you could unhear them. It’s probably best to pretend that you didn’t hear what was said!
I have been to a wedding evening function where the wedding breakfast and speeches were still going at 6pm when the evening ‘do’ was supposed to start. That wedding could have done with a Mother of the Bride or Father of the Bride who kept an eye on the time so that more consideration could be given to the guests for the evening function instead of leaving them outside with their noses pressed up against the window for two hours.
I have also been to a wedding where the bride and groom disappeared with the photographer to have photos taken for hours while the guests waited at the reception. As Mother of the Bride you will need to ensure that all of the guests are looked after and have a drink. If the time drags on maybe even start the entertainment!
For Mother of the Brides who have bought up an independent career-minded woman it may come as a shock if your daughter suddenly turns into a girlie girl who wants the most feminine and expensive set of functions ever! It is important at an early stage to be clear about who is paying for this extravaganza and if it’s you, put your foot down about the extent of the celebration.
Need some options? Here is my choice for the season..
More Mother of the Bride Tips, can be found here.