I do not have any children. I do have dogs, and Opal Ewermysunshine has sworn off marriage ever since her boyfriend Zeus (the Doberman next door) left for Tweed Heads 3 years ago! Jasper is too young and not capable of a full relationship!
So, I have been undertaking research with any Mothers of the Bride (MOBs) and Mothers of the Grooms (MOGs) who I can find, and it has been a very illuminating journey.
First of all, I attended a #JAM Orange #small hall live music gig at the Bloomfield Community Hall in Orange where there were 120 in the audience of which more than half were women, and there was only one toilet! This afforded plenty of opportunities for interviewing the women in the queue for their tales of being MOBs or MOGs.
The main intelligence I gleaned is that the bride is the boss and the Mother of the Bride and Mother of the Groom must only do things that are acceptable to the bride, and seek her approval! It is a good idea to find out the colour of the bridesmaids dresses, and not clash with them. The Mother of the Groom should ask the Mother of the Bride’s advice about what she is going to wear, or at least the colour scheme.
However, I have also heard a couple of nightmares on this topic. This can go wrong as one MOB in the queue for the loo told me that she told the MOG what she was going to wear and the MOG turned up to the wedding in the exact same outfit!!!! I was also told the tale of the bride discovering that the MOGwas going to wear cream and asking her not to, and the MOG refusing to wear a different outfit!
My mother has 6 children of whom 4 have been married twice and the other 2 have been married once each, which adds up to 10 weddings and my mother being MOB 3 times and MOG 7 times. She was MOG three times in one year over 4 months!! Fortunately few of our weddings were very formal so my mum expressed her own unique style at all 10 weddings and that is what we wanted and expected of her. Her only advice is comfortable shoes.
It has been my experience when shopping at Swish in Orange that the staff do an excellent job through many consultations with MOBs and MOGs about choosing an outfit for the big day. Many of the women who come in seem (from my eavesdropping) to have lost confidence in themselves, and have not bought an outfit for many years, so are surprised by the changes in their own body and don’t know what suits them. Many have not worn a frock for a long time.
The dress code can be a cause of some stress. I think my wedding being ‘whatever you feel like’ caused some stress, but worked out alright in the end as we had my dear friend Grace in full regalia that she had worn to the Queen’s Garden Party, and my siblings dressed in various levels of formal and comfortably informal, that reflected the guest dressing in every possibility in between. Very casual weddings in Australia in gardens or on beaches can also cause some stress to the MOB and MOG about getting the right balance of casual and smart. I recommend consulting at your local Swish Fashion outlet.
MOBs and MOGs are after that outfit that can be worn again nothing to fussy that will sit in the back of the wardrobe for ever. They are impressed by something that shouts Swish Fashion, something smart that won’t date, and can be work to many different events in the future. People love a bit of colour and comfort is very important. Often the MOG doesn’t want to be too ‘dressy’ or be too noticeable, particularly believing they shouldn’t be more noticeable than the MOB, but is blown away by how beautiful she looks and changes her opinion of herself.
The bride seems to want to be the boss for many weddings. She will say if she likes the outfit and is happy with the colour. Often the bride and mother shopping together for the MOB outfit is a beautiful bonding experience and an important part of the rite of passage. For the MOG a suggestion would be to send a photo of the proposed outfit to the bride to get her OK.
Some ‘big days’ consist of many elements. A dinner the night before, the wedding, the wedding breakfast, and the evening ‘do’ for all of the friends who aren’t invited to the other elements of the celebration. This may require a series of different outfits for the MOG and MOB, and take some planning.
Of course, there are many different permutations at weddings these days with stepmothers of brides and grooms, and step fathers and all sorts of etiquette issues with expanded families. I’m looking forward to the day when we can celebrate two brides and two grooms in Australia, so multiple MOGs and MOBs for the same wedding!!
More style tips, available from our style tips page.