6 powerful life lessons from Australian Cardiothoracic Surgeon, Dr Nikki Stamp about the Best Gift we can give this Mother’s Day.

What is the best gift in the world to give your mother this Mother’s Day?

One word, kindness.

Kindness doesn’t need wrapping paper or fanfare, it is the quiet achiever, the gift that adds incredible value to every life it touches.

Kindness is the ability to give the goodness you have within yourself to another.

As plus size woman it is up to us to be kind to ourselves.

The fashion industry is no longer an industry that caters for just one age group or just one size. There is diversity within the fashion industry and today we all have access to fashion that fits and looks amazing on all our different shapes and sizes. It’s up to us to be kind to ourselves and others and to dress our beautiful curves in ways that make us feel amazing. It’s a fact that when we feel good we can be nicer to the people around us.

Today I introduce Dr Nikki Stamp, one of only nine female cardiothoracic surgeons and one of only 10% of the female surgeons who make up all surgeons in Australia.

Dr Nikki Stamp strongly advocates the power of kindness to positively transform our mental and physical lives and to positively transform our workplaces, communities and our families.

One of her passions is teaching young Doctors and being a savvy local leader in social media movements like #ilooklikeasurgeon and #likealadydoc. Another is being a mentor for women and girls and encouraging them to train in roles held dominantly by men. What I also love about her is that she talks and operates from her heart. On her blog, she writes of her fair share of discrimination within the work place, from having some colleagues pat her bottom to being mistaken as a nurse.

Lesson #1: Don’t judge others and always expect the best.

I met a delightful colleague recently who introduced me her term ‘kindfulness’ which I immediately fell in love with. Her idea that so much toxic culture and therefore toxic outcomes results from a failure of kindness, both towards ourselves and towards others. She advocates for the widespread, indiscriminate practice of kindfulness.

I thought about what she said and realised how much truth there was in this. We are geared up to think that people are doing their worst, that we are doing less than our best.

We have become so judgmental and focused on evaluating and critiquing what everyone else is doing.

Lesson #2: Try something different. Be kind.

Remember our purpose is to add value to any situation by our actions. Everybody else’s purpose is their own and none of our business.

 ‘Toxic workplaces are miserable and road rage is a term that is now part of the modern vernacular. So, let’s try something different.

When someone cuts you off, when someone forgets to do their work or when you have a burger instead of a salad, be kind.

Notice it, give them and yourselves a break and carry on’.

 - Dr Nikki Stamp 

Lesson #3: Don’t compare, remember there is only one of you.

There will always be at least one person who’ll dress, cook, speak better than you. But when it comes to dressing, talking, laughing, being kind like you, you are always the world champion at being yourself.

‘When I never knew that because I was born a girl that some people would see that as a weakness. I never understood that my intelligence would be both questioned and somehow demeaned if I was not pretty. And I definitely did not appreciate that even in a modern time, I would be judged much more harshly for behaviours considered normal for boys but unbecoming of girls’.

- Dr Nikki Stamp.

Lesson #4: ‘Kindness is not about being a door mat or standing for poor behavior, performance or systems; …

 ‘Letting that slide is probably going to make you feel worse about yourself and more resentful towards that person and therefore less likely to be kind to them. But perhaps we need to stop confusing strength and aggression and vice versa’.

 - Dr Nikki Stamp.

Lesson #5: Beware of labels and stereotypes.

We each have the opportunity to be right or kind. I think choosing to be kind although not always easy, opens you up for more authentic joy.

 I’m not sure but I think from that space you are then able to give more kindness and more joy.

Nikki speaks about the dangers or work culture stereotypes

‘The tribalistic behaviour has given rise to some hilarious jokes and stereotypes. Such as my personal favourite, what’s the difference between God and a cardiac surgeon? God doesn’t think he’s a cardiac surgeon. (Boom tish) These jokes are a reflection of how we judge each other without compassion, kindness or understanding and say all heart surgeons are arrogant, all orthopaedic surgeons are dumb, another specialty is useless at something and the list goes on.

What these jokes, then stereotypes and harsh judgements actually foster is an inability to be kind to each other at times. And when we can’t be kind, we get judgmental. When we get judgmental, we get frustrated, angry or aggressive and significantly less tolerant of others, their behaviours, their flaws and even their successes’.               

 - Dr Nikki Stamp

Lesson #6: Be Kind every chance you get.

Nikki suggests some unexpected ways to include kindness daily.

‘Smile at the person opposite you on the train, wish the barista a good day when you get your morning coffee or offer some help to someone who looks like they might need it. It’s not a massive amount to ask and the dividends may be great’.                                                                                                                                                  

 - Dr Nikki Stamp

I’m not sure what your plans are for Mother’s Day this year but kindness is a great place to start. Little habits of kindness affect the greater good. Like our grandmothers said, ‘kindness doesn’t cost a thing and you feel better for giving it.’

It's not too latte to start your act of kindness. Shop Swish and give back to the people you care about most.

*All quotes with many thanks from https:drnikkistamp.wordpress.com

*All images with many thanks from Pinterest